remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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