Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize