We're facebook friends in real life
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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