Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
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I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.