Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Why? Who won?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  we don't know. we ran out of oranges.

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  (440): I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges. (1-440): Why? Who won? (440): we don't know. we ran out of oranges. http://tfl.nu/wlmn
  Replies (1) Good night (1714) Bad night (655)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?

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  (504): Aren't I supposed to sit on your face? http://tfl.nu/tzlx
  Replies (19) Good night (3488) Bad night (954)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.

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  (832): i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml. http://tfl.nu/k21j
  Replies (21) Good night (998) Bad night (3957)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi

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  (919): anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi http://tfl.nu/rjb1
  Replies (29) Good night (838) Bad night (4929)
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  (805): View more from California

  Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.

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  (805): Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win. http://tfl.nu/velv
  Replies (25) Good night (5557) Bad night (1229)
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  (530): View more from California

  There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them

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  (530): There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them http://tfl.nu/te5k
  Replies (15) Good night (4660) Bad night (1709)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups

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  (651): i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups http://tfl.nu/8ph5
  Replies (13) Good night (6370) Bad night (1009)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.

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  (708): Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success. http://tfl.nu/6b9r
  Replies (12) Good night (2564) Bad night (912)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.

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  (513): Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette. http://tfl.nu/g7cy
  Replies (2) Good night (1449) Bad night (673)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...

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  (231): Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans... http://tfl.nu/n7qg
  Replies (4) Good night (525) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.

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  (541): Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer. http://tfl.nu/uwby
  Replies (7) Good night (1026) Bad night (710)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.

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  (704): We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure. http://tfl.nu/1ib6
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (429)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me

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  (816): Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me http://tfl.nu/eiw2
  Replies (5) Good night (1142) Bad night (557)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck

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  (512): totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck http://tfl.nu/52hz
  Replies (1) Good night (907) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.

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  (231): Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight. http://tfl.nu/p1n4
  Replies (5) Good night (358) Bad night (243)

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