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• (404): View more from Georgia

  what's for breakfast?

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Advil and throwup

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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• (912): View more from Georgia

  His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.

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• (619): View more from California

  on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (310): View more from California

  At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed

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