Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.

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  (818): Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works. http://tfl.nu/ca8d
  Replies (4) Good night (5740) Bad night (1421)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?

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  (419): Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat? http://tfl.nu/dmug
  Replies (5) Good night (3530) Bad night (960)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea

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  (517): drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea http://tfl.nu/z8sz
  Replies (29) Good night (3736) Bad night (1788)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.

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  (203): Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again. http://tfl.nu/p8rx
  Replies (11) Good night (1224) Bad night (2585)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?

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  (407): Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants? http://tfl.nu/pjw5
  Replies (18) Good night (3589) Bad night (1079)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport

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  (505): Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport http://tfl.nu/iu8r
  Replies (9) Good night (5359) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many

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  (515): Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many http://tfl.nu/90pg
  Replies (2) Good night (1700) Bad night (530)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR

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  (404): NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR http://tfl.nu/cqki
  Replies (21) Good night (859) Bad night (2441)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.

  (206): View more from Washington

  The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!

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  (425): You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy. (206): The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!! http://tfl.nu/5bns
  Replies (8) Good night (1805) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

  (323): View more from California

  Gross

  (818): View more from California

  AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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  (818): So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth (323): Gross (818): AN ACTUAL PICKLE http://tfl.nu/hdiy
  Replies (7) Good night (1904) Bad night (568)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.

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  (214): I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS. http://tfl.nu/qjb8
  Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (512)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.

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  (678): I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor. http://tfl.nu/habo
  Replies (2) Good night (454) Bad night (888)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities

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  (787): I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/2egx
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (280)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.

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  (775): I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation. http://tfl.nu/xcew
  Replies (2) Good night (537) Bad night (250)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?

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  (773): Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right? http://tfl.nu/8uh3
  Replies (1) Good night (320) Bad night (552)

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