Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth

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  (309): I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth http://tfl.nu/zzns
  Replies (35) Good night (3815) Bad night (1479)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding

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  (443): You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding http://tfl.nu/vxqr
  Replies (51) Good night (748) Bad night (7260)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.

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  (810): I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck. http://tfl.nu/kfpi
  Replies (5) Good night (2708) Bad night (1115)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please

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  (860): chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please http://tfl.nu/p1fk
  Replies (30) Good night (3194) Bad night (1290)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You'll be proud of me

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Who did you not have sex with

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Damn it...you know me too well

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  (503): You'll be proud of me (1-503): Who did you not have sex with (503): Damn it...you know me too well http://tfl.nu/ealw
  Replies (13) Good night (5014) Bad night (693)
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  (646): View more from New York

  I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.

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  (646): I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot. http://tfl.nu/r2lr
  Replies (17) Good night (6369) Bad night (987)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.

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  (719): getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week. http://tfl.nu/rliz
  Replies (1) Good night (1867) Bad night (1131)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.

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  (651): I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year. http://tfl.nu/vpjz
  Replies (3) Good night (1870) Bad night (704)
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  (805): View more from California

  No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear

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  (805): No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear http://tfl.nu/ak00
  Replies (5) Good night (1580) Bad night (1226)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You're so thoughtful.

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  (813): There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad. (701): You're so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/53am
  Replies (1) Good night (1297) Bad night (447)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.

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  (508): I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat. http://tfl.nu/wq7n
  Replies (3) Good night (758) Bad night (989)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.

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  (203): I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe. http://tfl.nu/ze7a
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.

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  (321): I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out. http://tfl.nu/5y00
  Replies (4) Good night (1624) Bad night (263)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas

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  (308): I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas http://tfl.nu/d21x
  Replies (1) Good night (351) Bad night (177)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!

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  (352): So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality! http://tfl.nu/jnql
  Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (170)

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