You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name