dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
