her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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