that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
