And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
