Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
