Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
