do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
