you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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