Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
