I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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