you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Two words: blizzard sex
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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