she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.