I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
