why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
