I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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