Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
