Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
