I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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