imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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