i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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