You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
