do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
