The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So many bounce houses so little time
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
