Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
