WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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