i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
