Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
