Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
