those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
