I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
