It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
