her vagina looked like bernie madoff
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
