Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy

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  (586): Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy http://tfl.nu/dk85
  Replies (6) Good night (660) Bad night (1067) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

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  (314): Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl http://tfl.nu/2p2x
  Replies (43) Good night (2631) Bad night (565)
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  (562): View more from California

  Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop

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  (562): Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop http://tfl.nu/vzd0
  Replies (78) Good night (4515) Bad night (1160) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

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  (925): If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying. http://tfl.nu/0bns
  Replies (22) Good night (2898) Bad night (688) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me

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  (978): we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me http://tfl.nu/ax47
  Replies (12) Good night (3101) Bad night (471) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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  (570): Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice. http://tfl.nu/vtyg
  Replies (31) Good night (1086) Bad night (4580) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...

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  (949): shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do... http://tfl.nu/qae9
  Replies (22) Good night (1217) Bad night (3800) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.

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  (210): I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it. http://tfl.nu/c8qq
  Replies (4) Good night (2219) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?

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  (980): Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew? http://tfl.nu/j4qs
  Replies (12) Good night (2469) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.

  (1-518): View more from New York

  Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.

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  (518): They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me. (1-518): Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props. http://tfl.nu/pv50
  Replies (5) Good night (2248) Bad night (652)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.

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  (903): And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table. http://tfl.nu/a0uv
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.

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  (740): Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon. http://tfl.nu/2uoq
  Replies (8) Good night (354) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.

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  (202): I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects. http://tfl.nu/vyxz
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you

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  (574): No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you http://tfl.nu/4deb
  Replies (3) Good night (316) Bad night (884) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.

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  (306): We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned. http://tfl.nu/jttg
  Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt

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