Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Barsexuality is the new black.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT