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Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
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