I cockslap morals
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
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He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
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No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!