Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The power of my boobs compel you
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
