i think my tv is drunk
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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