'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
