i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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