"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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