i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
