You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
