There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
