yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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