ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
