i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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