Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
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Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
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I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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