its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
