playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
