The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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