She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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