i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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