yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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