Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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