...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
