there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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