Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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